I was talking with a friend last night about helping people in need.  It was very disheartening to hear her comments.  She has a relative who is rather proud of the fact that she’s homeless and feels as though she’s somehow better than others.  It was totally mind boggling to be living on handouts from others and then think of one self as somehow better.

Then we shifted to helping at the homeless shelter.  My friend was at one of the local shelters serving Thanksgiving dinner one year and her observation was that the people there were not at all thankful for receiving the food.

I have heard the similar stories from others who have tried to work with some inner city kids.  They were not thankful for the help that they got, but were upset by the “fact” that the government would “give” more to those who were helping them.

I’m not only picking on the poor, but I see this attitude all around me.  Kids (not my own, hopefully mine knows better) who get upset because I was not sharing my snacks or buying them things that I was getting for myself or my kids.  Instead of being thankful for the snacks and other stuff that they have gotten, they complain about being unfairly treated when they did not receive the benefits always.  Adults are not exempt from this problem.  The most often thing that I’ve seen is over food.  People volunteer their time to cook meals for events.  Often, instead of receiving thanks, they hear criticism of what was not done right.

What kind of society have we become.  Perhaps, part of my gripe begins with my grandmother who was always thankful for everything.  She had lived through hard times in her life, but always had a good perspective on life.  She had witnessed hardship and suffering through war and the inhumane treatment of the poor in the Asian society.  Instead of becoming jaded, she gave to those around her.  She saw the positive sides of things and was always grateful to those around her.  God had filled her heart and she learned the mystery of giving thanks in everything and by giving thanks, she was full of joy.

We have an epidemic of depressed ungrateful population even though we are surrounded by a wealth of blessings.  Instead of dwelling on what you don’t have, how about count what you do have in your life and be thankful for every little thing.  Guess I better start my reflections and get ready to smile…

Condolences to shooting victims

It’s so heart wrenching to see another mass shooting at Capital Gazette office.  Even though I’m less and less of fans of news agencies regardless of which side of the fence they stand but whether I agree with a person or not on particular issues, in the end, each person is unique and special and the snuffing out of any life is just sad.  I think of the loved ones they leave behind.  Each person had an unique story, and that story has now been cut short by a lunatic.

Some times I wonder about why there are so many mass shootings and how can people even think about such a thing.  But as I look around, there is so much more us versus them mentality and we come up with ways to demonize “them” and put them in a neat little box such that “them”  is somehow now less human.  I’m reminded of the poem The Man He Killed by Thomas Hardy.  Unfortunately, I’m not sure how many of us today are willing to stop and reflect on the fact that even though on certain issues we may be on different sides and perhaps even “fighting” against each other, but we are each individuals who might have more in common than we are willing to acknowledge.  I also think of James Carville and his wife on opposite aisles of the political world.  But just because they didn’t disagree on certain issues it did not stand in the way of a successful marriage.

I’m praying for a change of heart of our society so that there’s true love and compassion for everyone (not only for those just like me) and true tolerance would prevail (we can agree to disagree and treat all people with respect) instead of forcing everyone to conform to the definition of tolerance du jour.  If all lives become precious (not some more than others), I really believe that would be the true solution to all the horrific crimes.

Until then, may each of us learn to gracefully deal with all the garbage thrown around each day instead of trying to retaliate and make things worse.  If at all possible, be a light where ever we are.  Reach out to everyone even if they see us as an enemy because of certain views that we may hold.  Demonstrate to the world what it means to consider every life as precious.


Panic Response

Had dinner with couple of friends who were in Las Vegas over the weekend.  They were not too far from Mandalay Bay when the shooting began.  In fact, they had stayed at Mandalay Bay few floors below Paddock’s room just Saturday night and saw the concert from their room.  It was a very creepy thought.  Anyway, they were enjoying their time on Sunday when suddenly a crowd of people came in and raised the alarm of active shooter.  The interesting thing was people’s responses to the panic situation.  There were people who were in shock and just can’t think or carry out much, there were people who just want to hide, and there were some in such panic that they were fearful of others even opening the door to the outside.

Our friends decided to make a dash for it in order to distance themselves from the shooting and the crowd of panicked people.

I started wondering how I would have reacted in such panic situation?  The standard response to active shooter is to go into lock down, but is that really the best idea?  I think of 9/11 where the people in the towers were told to stay put, but many of those who took action were able to survive.  We’ll never know in a panic situation what would be the best response, but I think the most important thing is to stay calm and be able to think through your response and come what may, at least you were the one who decided.  I give thanks for all those people on Sunday who stayed on the scene to help.  Thank you so much for risking your own lives for the sake of many people who you may not even know.  It’s people like you who has made America great and I’m glad that you are not yet an endangered species.

How would I respond in a similar panic situation?  I have no idea, but I sure hope that whatever I do, would be thought through and consistent with loving and caring for others.

Las Vegas Shooting

Heart felt sorrows and prayers to all the victims and their families and friends.  We had friends who were visiting Las Vegas this past weekend and I’m so glad that they are fine.  I know that the strip is not that small and the shooting was in quite a confined area, but sometimes even being so close would cause people to stop and reflect on their own mortality.

I think I’ve just lived a very sheltered life.  Things have been very stable for me with family, church, and friends.  As details about the suspected shooter comes forth, I feel saddened by the instability and seeming emptiness of his life.  Is that how people in general live?  I guess I’d go berserk too.  I will thank God all the more for all my friends and family.  Imperfect as things may be, I have nothing to complain about…


The definition of integrity is the quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness or the state of being whole and undivided.  I always like to think of integrity as living a life that is consistent with ones morals in every way.

I know we are all human beings, whether you agree with me or not, all have sinful nature that causes us to be inconsistent with what we say and do or between various actions.  We operate under different values depending on what we are looking at and often times we are the last to see the inconsistencies in our actions.

I think integrity is bringing it all together so that there is consistency such that we are a whole being rather than fragmented between different values.

Recently, I was witness to actions by some friends that was so jarring that I’m still trying to process it.  Their action towards another individual was so hurtful in one area of life, but then in dealing with other areas of life with the same person, it was as if nothing was the matter.  Perhaps my life tend to flow more from one part to another and I try hard to not compartmentalize anything, even trying to find harmony between literature, art and science and math with the belief that God is one and He is the author of math, science, philosophy, literature, and all other studies of life, thus there is harmony between everything.

So what makes each one of us so blind to so many things that we are truly inconsistent beings?  I’m sure that I have plenty of blind spots that are clear as day to others, but I’ll be hard press to admit it even when others point it out to me, though I sure wish that God would give me the grace to deal with it, if it truly is a blind spot so that I can be whole and have integrity in my life.

May each of us learn to be more whole in our lives, and live by good morals in every aspect of our lives.

Share the Road

I have nothing against anyone who rides a bicycle, other than that I’m too unstable to trust myself on one.  I think it’s great exercise and I don’t try to watch out for them on the road.

But what gets me is that I happen to drive quite a bit along a state highway that have a paved bike/walking path parallel to it.  The bike path was recently repaved and is not frequented by many people walking.  But the shoulder of the road is still the preferred bike path of choice.  I don’t even mind it that much other than why did we as taxpayers just repave the lightly used bike path.  Thankfully the shoulders are wide enough to perhaps safely allow even two bikes abreast.  But often times, the bikers are riding on the line, or with multiple bikes abreast so I’d have to shift over to pass them.  I don’t think that’s the definition of sharing.  Worse yet, this past Sunday, there was a bike towing a little trailer in middle of the left most lane (remember this is a stat highway even though at this section, the speed limit has dropped to 45 mph) maybe still a quarter of a mile from the light.

Whatever happened to the word share.  Have these people not grown out of the four year old’s definition of share?  Where share means everyone else need to give me what I want?  I think our society is starting to deteriorate into that state where much socialistic ideas have crept into mainstream thinking and people can scream about sharing with them yet have no consideration of others.  I wish for safety for all the bikers out there, enjoy your day and get the health benefits of biking, but remember, sharing the road goes both ways.  Likewise, as you ask for others to share,  don’t forget you have responsibilities as well and don’t unnecessarily burden others… fairness to all…

Disaster Relief

With Harvey and Irma, there’s been much talk about disaster relief.  It’s heart breaking to see so many people needing to recover from the hurricanes.  I’m really thankful for existing organizations with well established infrastructure so they are poised to respond to help people.  I’m no dyed in the wool Southern Baptist but one thing I’ve come to appreciate is their ability and involvement in these relief efforts and because they can ride off their existing infrastructure supported through other programs, I believe 100% of the donations to the relief efforts goes to benefit the victims.

I started wondering about the most tooted organization the American Red Cross.  I was absolutely shocked that they refuse (claiming can’t) give an account of the percent going to the victims of every dollar given.  I can understand not being able to say for certain for Harvey and Irma as everything’s in flux, but this is for past disaster relief efforts.  How can a non-profit organization get away with such accounting?  Somehow, I don’t think IRS would allow them to get away with it.  And such large organization do need at least internal auditing.  I cannot imagine any of the large religious organizations being able to get away with that.

I was alerted to the overhead cost issues for donations when some people at church wanted to designate church as the receiving organization when they give at work through United Way.  I think United Way automatically takes 15-20% (and I don’t remember which) for administrative cost.  REALLY?  The sad thing is I know the employee donations tend to be just a regular deduction from the paychecks and what our church saw were pennies coming through.

So before you donate to any organization out of the goodness of your heart, please make sure that the money is going to where you want it to go rather than someone’s favorite projects or worse yet, someone’s pocket.  But don’t let bad organizations keep you from giving, just find the ones that you can trust and do it with gusto.


We’ve been following the progress of the latest hurricanes and it’s sad to see the wake of destruction they’ve left behind.  It’s so easy to think that we are safe and protected in our homes, but it was a very rude reminder that there are many things in life that are not under our control.  Even with all the technology for prediction, we still can’t tell the exact path an strength of a hurricane until it happens.  I’m thankful that we can have some forewarning, but I know of people in the Florida panhandle who were braced for the worst and pretty much got nothing, and then the people in eastern part of Florida who thought that they would be okay because Irma was going up the gulf side, but there ended up being flooding.

All things considered, I am very thankful for the relatively little life loss here in the states.  Things are replaceable, people are not.  It was interesting though that there are some stories of people who decided to ride things out but ended up needing help in the midst of the storm, and they were not happy that they didn’t get emergency help.  Hum…  have we come to a point of being so unreasonable?  If I knowingly make a dangerous choice, how can I then expect others to risk their lives to save me from my stupid choice.  I do appreciate the many first responders who do exactly that but it would be unreasonable to expect it of them always.

We don’t know what route Jose would take and how strong it will become, but please stay safe and make wise decisions.  I know sometimes it’s nearly impossible to evacuate large metropolis areas and there’s always the fear of looting, but lives before stuff and know that there are many things where we are no where to being able to control.

Focus Necessary

There are a number of things in life where you need to focus and you should probably take a break when you are tired.  Unfortunately, I think most of us miss that point when we really need to stop but think we can continue.  I’ll admit that most of the time we can probably get away with it, like long distance driving, but unfortunately due to the lack of focus, that’s also when we are most susceptible to accidents.  And that lack of concentration can cause great harm.

I was recently reminded of that fact.  Last week during cardio boxing I was getting fatigued but decided to continue to work on some power punches with my weak hand.  I guess there’s a reason why it’s my weak hand and throwing my weight behind the punch into a heavy bag was not a wise idea when my wrist was not straight and tight.  Long story short, my left wrist is now in pain and needing a doctor.

Sometimes we need to be more aware of what our bodies are telling us.  If it needs a break, give it a break before doing something stupid.  So no matter if it’s exercise, work, driving, or whatever.  Know the signals from your body and take actions accordingly.  Because there are times when we are a whole lot more likely to do irrevocable damage due to not focusing.

Trusting Professionals

I think it’s safe to say that most of us for one reason or another seem to trust the “professionals” to be good at what they do and we don’t tend to question their qualifications.

Recently a friend took his car into Brake Master’s to fix his squeaky brakes.  With a name like that, you’d assume that they would be able to fix his brakes.  Well, might as call them break masters because three trips later, more things are squeaking.  Hum…

And yesterday, I was out and about when the schools were letting out.  The school bus driver at the red light, just pulled right into the crosswalk completely blocking the crosswalk.  Really?  And then as I was getting close to home, a school bus pulls out from a stop sign, right in front of me.  Okay a fast car probably could have made it, but a bus?  Being not the fastest to start and a long length.  Wow, what kind of drivers are we entrusting our kids to.

I remember years ago talking to our contractor when we were building an addition to our house.   Boy, did he have nightmares to tell of subcontractors trying to safe money by cutting corners.  These are professionals that we trust every day.  It’s amazing that anything still works.  But thankfully there are still good some people out there.

With these things all around us, it can be tempting when we are doing things for others to try to cut corners or not being careful when we are suppose to be the experts.  I try to teach my kiddos that whatever they are doing, to do the best job that they can and not cut corners.  And also try to learn more so that they can be better at what they do.  I sure hope that somethings are sinking in.  And if one day they do become a “professional” or an “expert” of sorts in some fields, that they won’t turn out to be another person whose words or actions are not worth any more than something coming from an average Joe.  Of course, that means I need to be a role model…sigh…