I’ll be the first one to admit that I have a tendency to procrastinate and like to stay on the lazier side of things. Today it felt like though I was just going from one thing to the next and I was just looking forward to a little time to sit down and get somethings done. Then the drain backed up again… For half a second I did think about just letting it sit and just tell the kids no more bathroom visits until we leave. But thought better of it. Anyway, managed to get the hairball out plus some roots, oh drat! Now I can’t put off the root killing routine.
Anyway, after coming inside and cleaning up the mess, I really wanted to get some nice icy cold drink and just relax but then the sink and dishwasher glared at me. Oh why! I wanted to yell at the kids because they hadn’t put things away, but remembered that I’m at my worst with words when I’m tired and upset. This is the frustrating thing about trying to be the adult around the house and needing to set the example. Do I put things off too? I do have somewhat of a legitimate excuse. It’s not easy clearing the drain. My back hurts. I’ve got things that I want to get done. But no, they are mostly excuses and I know it and I think to some level the kids knows it too.
Decision. Fine, zip my mouth so nothing bad comes out of it. Grid my teeth and get things cleared out and hope that nothing more comes up before we leave the house. I’ve actually got a few minutes to relax now and I’m glad that I had gotten everything done. I’m glad that dinner was already in the crockpot before much happened. And best of all, I’m glad that I was not a bad example today for my kids. Especially when we are around each other almost 24/7, they are learning constantly about how to deal with life.
Be a good example to others today.
YouTube is great, except sometimes you can spend so much time looking for stuff that it becomes a serious time sink. But sometimes you find individuals who you does a really great job in breaking things down and they are a great source to go to for information.
Crash Course video is one that I’ve enjoyed with my kids. The videos are short and enjoyable to watch and has a good amount of content for quick review or introduction to the subjects. If you have a chance, check them out and enjoy some quick learning.
I think there must be a conspiracy between textbook publishers and the health industry. I just got a teacher’s edition of Prentice Hall Biology and it weighs a TON! It’s probably just a hair lighter than the ancient church bibles. Somehow, I don’t think I’ll be bringing it anywhere to thumb through.
I still have mixed feelings about using textbooks. They are good resources and covers a well rounded set of materials, but they are set up more as materials for regurgitation rather than retention. And often just like the heaviness of their weight, the student really have no desire to carry the information within it more than they absolutely have to. I know it is hard to push against the system and I am by no means an advocate of one size fits all (although isn’t that what textbooks are?) but maybe if we can invest in super teachers who can use state of the art animations etc to teach and classroom teachers being more tutors and facilitators. Maybe kids could become more interested and engaged in the materials.
Perhaps because I’ve got the Biology text sitting next to me, so I’m thinking about some of the videos that I’ve seen about photosynthesis, cell functions, energy conversion, mitosis, etc that really helped me to understand the concepts, but these were all scattered and had to be found and some, though the explanations were good, obviously lacked the necessary resources for better production to make it more attractive to the viewers. Oh well, at least YouTube has made learning just a bit more interesting.
Am I a proponent of procrastination? Nope! But there comes a time when it’s better to postpone something. There has been plenty of examples now with people’s quick unthinking Tweets to help us learn this point. There comes a time when delaying what we need to do is better.
I learned this the hard way through the days when I used to write more computer codes. There are times when I’m so tired or frazzled that even though the deadline was looming that it was not a good idea to continue without first taking a break. Otherwise, I’d have to come back and take even more time to fix the mistakes that I would have for sure introduced. The wisdom is to know how long of a break and not to let “tiredness” become an excuse for procrastination. Now that I’m home and have no task master (like Bree in Horse and His Boy) I need even more discipline to not let “tiredness” become an excuse but at the same time not to push beyond certain stress level.
As a homeschool mom, sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the idea of finishing the work that we end up stressing out our kids instead of teaching them to learn how to balance life. And sometimes I can become so stressed that I believe I was doing more damage to my kids by being a bad role model even though I may have finished the task at hand. Wisdom to balance everything, I think it’s one of the hardest thing to achieve in life.
One thing I have really enjoyed learning after finishing school is that I get to choose what I want to learn. Or sometimes it’s just following up with what I need to know. I have learned that the internet and the kids’ section in the library are great places to start if all I want is a quick cursory look at a particular subject.
Also, in school there was a sense that you need to go through a whole class and be thoroughly familiar with a subject before you feel up to tackling any problems within the subject area. However, I’ve learned that sometimes just a little knowledge (yes, it does make you dangerous) sometimes is sufficient for the need at hand and no further time is necessary to continue in a subject area if that’s all you need.
I guess it’s also what I’ve learned in computer science with programming. Sometimes the brute force method is the fastest way to accomplish a task if you are just going to use it once or twice. There’s no need to go to a more elegant approach to the problem.
Recently, I wanted to learn how to create a dxf file to do some of the cutting on my Silhouette Portrait (digital cutting machine). From school training, I downloaded the complete specification manual and started pouring through it. Then it dawned on me that perhaps I really don’t need to pour through a 270+ page file and all I needed was a few simple examples. Couple of hours later, I got what I needed. It may not be the most elegant or the most efficient solution but it is sufficient for my needs.
So I’m slowly trying to teach my kids that if they need some information or learn some skills, they don’t necessary need a whole class or whole book on the subject. First get a general idea of the subject area that they want to find the information, then identify what niche their interest falls in, and learn to search for the particular information that they need. Unless they are really interested in digging deeper, once they find the solution, they will be free to move on. Wish that was a skill that I had learned in school.
Recently Mark and I had separate conversations with parents regarding conflicts with their teenagers. These issues were not new and has been brewing for years, just that their kids are now teenagers and wanting more independence. What the issue boils down to is that there is personality clash between mom and kid and the moms to a tee want their kids to operate more like them and lament the fact that their kids are not more like them.
From my observations, each of these moms have good kids by most standards. Are they perfect? No, but for the most part they are well behaved kids who have decent standards for personal conduct.
The moms want their kids to grow be responsible adults who will succeed in life. Unfortunately they have failed to see or sometimes just fail to acknowledge to their kids their continuing character growth. And instead of learning to adjust to working with another person they want their kids to learn to adjust to working with them.
I know that our teenagers still have much more to learn but they need to see models of how to work with people with different personalities. Isn’t it our perfect opportunity to demonstrate to them how we can have common purpose, hold to certain standards, and achieve certain end goals without having monolithic personalities and working styles. That’s life right? That certainly is true at work places and in marriages. There is no better time for our kids to learn that than while still under our roof. Of course wisdom needs to be applied in separating the non-negotiable standards from our own preferences and have things in the right priority.
We as parents should be the adults. We who are suppose to be the more mature ones need to be the first to alter our behaviors and attitudes and to be first to apologize when we are wrong . Be immovable as a rock in the essentials but be flexible when it comes to our personal preferences, desires, and comforts.
I don’t think anyone ever denies that creativity is a good thing (except us mom who sometimes has to deal with the end results of our children’s creative messes and other disasters). But often times there’s the question of how to foster it. Summer is great time for kids to have more chances to be creative.
The thing that I’ve learned over time is that first and foremost, kids need the free time in order to be creative. With few exceptions, most of us don’t operate with the idea of this is now “creative time” be creative. Okay, we can do somethings, but most likely it’s not going to be our best work. It most likely happens spontaneously. Often if we don’t seize the moment (or at least take time to work with the ideas a bit) the ideas tend to fade into oblivion.
Second, kids needs some model or some initial ideas or basic skills. This may sound a bit counter intuitive. Why do they need some preset things in order to be creative. Well, if they don’t have at least some working knowledge of somethings, they may be the most creative people who would have invented the wheels eons ago, but what’s the point. They can take the preexisting things and upgrade them to something better. Also, lets take art. There are some basic skills that can open their door to greater creations if they are at least fluent in those skills. Or maybe basic wood working skills which would enable them to design and put together more complex things.
Of course they would also need materials. I have come to the conclusion that even if it’s just a phase, if my kids want materials to work on a project and the materials are not outrageously expensive, I’ll get it for them. Of course I do not want to foster the idea of jumping from one thing to another and never finishing what they start, so this is a judgement call.
Finally, remove mindless distractions especially the super passive kind. I’m not opposed to electronic entertainment such as movies and games. But in order for creative juices to flow, they cannot be preoccupied by all these distractions. So there is a time and place for these things, but they are best turned off for the most part.
My mom was right. Kids need time to get bored so they can become creative. So let them explore some new skills this summer, but also give them time to develop those skills and put them into new and creative uses.
We got a really nice comment the other day about our kids, that their behavior is the same whether we are around or not. I’m glad to have the confirmation of pretty much what I already suspected. Of course you can argue if their behavior is always acceptable, but I’m glad that at least they are not hypocrites and we have the chance to address unacceptable behaviors and try to guide them accordingly. Mark and I both work with kids in different capacities and I enjoy just playing and hanging around with the kids. Unfortunately we often do see kids’ behaviors change in the presence of their parents and other adults (hum, guess I don’t quite count as an adult?). And I know that some of the “good” kids don’t like me because they know that I don’t buy into their “good” behavior stuff and will call them out if necessary.
I think as a homeschool mom, because my kids are around me almost 24/7, it’s so important for them to be themselves and know that no topic is off limits so they can gain wisdom in trying to process everything under the sun. Over time, I’ve learned to listen more before reacting and learning to tamper my reaction so as to not cut off the communication path. I hope as my kids grow that they would remain “simple” and gain the freedom to just be themselves.
Are my kids perfect. No way! I’m not. Do they still try to hide things from me? You bet? I still can be quite juvenile and try to hide somethings in my life too. But we are working on this together and encouraging each other to greater maturity.
I have been busy learning the ropes with WordPress to put together the new website for Mid-Rio Grande Home School Band. Finally found a music player that I like for the past concert recordings. As I was uploading and getting the recordings ready, I decided to listen to some of the songs from beginning band from both the fall and spring concerts. Wow, what a difference in quality and such improvements.
It’s really a silly thought. Of course there would be improvements from previous months especially when it’s beginning band. But, I’ve been so used to the girls in the higher bands that I think over time I’ve just became kind of critical in terms of the missed notes the missed counts etc and it’s good to stop and reflect on how far the kids have come.
I think it’s the same with raising our kids. Often time, all we see is what still needs improving and not the milestones that they have already reached. So we can become a discouragement to our own kids. Rather than encouraging them with the progress they have already made, we can become critical as to what they have not achieved. Especially at the end of the school year (not that we ever have one since we go year round as my kids like to remind me), it’s a good time to look back at the beginning of the year and, perhaps not even focus so much on the knowledge that they have gained (especially if they are in the binge and barf mode as so many of have been in our lives with school), but what good characters have they developed because that is what will ultimately carry them through life.
Okay, I’m not really talking about myself with energy to burn. Wish that was the case. This morning when I let the dog in, she started tearing through the house at top speed. I could have gotten mad at her, but realizing that it’s just that she’s a people dog and she wants to run around with people. So I went out to the backyard with her and played with her for a few minutes. She’s satisfied and happy to have had the time with me, and I don’t have to worry about the house being destroyed by her running through it at top speed.
I think sometimes our kids are not dissimilar to my dog. They really don’t mean harm but they have so much energy to burn and if we don’t give them a proper outlet, they can become destructive and our improper response can ruin our relationship with them. Especially for boys, we really need to be sensitive to their need to be active and move about. Come up with creative ways for them to burn off energy. Find ways to study while burning off energy. Take an active part in their activities too, that is often how good memories are built for not just the kids but us too. Does it mean that we just let our kids drive our agenda? No, but I’ve known a dog trainer who has turned humane society dogs into movie stars and service dogs. She doesn’t let her dogs get away with being disobedience, but she still have a loving relationship with her dogs. So we too need wisdom to know how to balance things in life so we teach our children to work and be obedient but within the context of how they function as people.