I know often times I fall into the trap that I need to earn love. It’s really hard for me just to sit back and simply enjoy being loved. I think often we want to feel like though we have earned the things in our lives. But if we had earned love, would it still be true love or would it be conditional love that we can lose once we stop trying to earn it. Then of what worth are those love?
It’s funny that we really do seek true love, but then think that we need to earn it. Recently I wanted to make a difference for our family and especially for Mark, instead I made a huge mess of things and set things back. I felt so bad but it was really wonderful to be reminded by Mark that he loves me no matter what. It’s not what I do but who I am that matters to him. It’s really comforting to know that I can make a whole bunch of dumb decisions but still be loved. I’m so glad that is the case. But oh how often and how quickly I forget it.
It was also a very good reminder that God is even more so with us. So often we think we can earn God’s love, in reality we really make a muck of things more often than we “help” God, but he still loves us no matter what. It’s not an excuse to continue to sin, but it’s also really reassuring that once adopted, I will always be a beloved child of God.
I don’t think I’ll ever truly learn this lesson this side of heaven, but in the mean time, I will ask God to enable me to sit back and enjoy the love that is in my life, from Mark, from my kids, from my friends, and especially from God without trying to “earn” them. And instead of focus on what is lacking since all human interactions are imperfect, that God would cause me to be thankful for all the wonderful people that He has surrounded me with.